Phantomized Classics
by Shekiah Rosay
Summary: What happens when you take songs from other classic musicals Such as 'The Sound of Music' and 'Les Miserables' and Phantomize them? Find out now! Chapter 11: Featuring the Populaire in its entirety, singing a rousing finale of 'I Feel Pretty!
1. My Favorite Things

Shekiah: Welcome to . . . Phantomized Classics! We'll be taking many familiar songs from other popular musicals and Phantomizing them. First, we'll hear from Erik, the one and only Phantom of the Opera!

I don't own Phantom, or any of the musicals/original songs! Hope you enjoy, R/R please!

. . . . . .

My Favorite Things (From: _The Sound of Music_)

_Sung by: _Erik

. . . . . .

Masquerades, operas, and dancing, and singing

Tortures and lassos and organ keys ringing

Opera music and violin strings

These are a few of my favorite things

. . . . . .

Cellars and shadows, mysterious notes

Underground passageways and lakes with boats

Christine and music and engagement rings

These are a few of my favorite things

. . . . . .

Morphine injections and Box Five and violence

Chandeliers crashing and darkness and silence

Money and diamonds and bad managing

These are a few of my favorite things

. . . . . .

When Raoul comes, when Christine leaves

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad!

. . . . . .

Liked it? Suggest a song from another famous musical, and I'll phantom-ize it!

R/R!


	2. Tomorrow

Shekiah: Thanks for all the reviews! You guys rock. I appreciate all the suggestions, they're great! I'll continue this insane parody fic with a song from the one and only, _Annie_, as suggested by Gia Devereaux. Erik's gonna sing this one too, because he did so well the first time. We'll hear from some others later . . .

Still don't own Phantom, or any of the musicals/original songs! Hope you enjoy this chapter too, continue to R/R please!

. . . . . .

Tomorrow (From: _Annie_)

Idea from: Gia Devereaux

_Sung by: _Erik

. . . . . .

I'll torture Raoul tomorrow

Bet your bottom Euro that tomorrow

He'll be gone

. . . . . .

Just thinking about tomorrow

Clears away the darkness and the sorrow 'till there's none

When I'm stuck with a fool, that's slow, and mindless

I just stick up my chin, and grin, and say  
  
. . . . . .

I'll torture Raoul tomorrow

How long is he gonna hang on?

I can't wait!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, he'll leave us, tomorrow!

It's only a day away!  
  
. . . . . .

When I'm stuck with a fool, that's slow, and mindless

I just stick up my chin, and grin, and say, Oh!  
  
. . . . . .

I'll torture Raoul tomorrow

How long is he gonna hang on?

I can't wait!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, he'll leave us tomorrow!

It's only a day away!


	3. A Problem Like The Phantom

My longest Phantomization yet! I've been dying to do this one, yes; it came out of my own twisted mind. This one will have dialogue, because it's sung by more than one person. This is the entire Opera Company, singing 'How Do You Solve A Problem Like The Phantom?'  
  
IMPORTANT NOTE: THIS BEGINS WITH THE ORIGINAL LINE 'SHE CLIMBS A TREE; SHE SCRAPES HER KNEE'.  
  
Thank you!

. . . . . .

How Do You Solve A Problem Like The Phantom? (From: _The Sound of Music_)

Idea from: Me (Be afraid. Very afraid)

Sung by: The Opera Company

. . . . . .

Firmin: He lives far down, way underground  
  
Raoul: He once took Christine there!  
  
M. Giry: It's in the dark, he's all around,  
  
Buquet: And hides within his lair!  
  
Christine: But in his home of darkness,  
  
He's alone in his despair!  
  
Andre and Firmin: He insists upon destroying all our opera!  
  
. . . . . .  
  
Andre: He's never seen at anything  
  
Christine: And yet he's always there!  
  
Raoul: He's always here, no matter what  
  
Christine: He may be listening now!  
  
Andre: As long as we've been saying this,  
  
Firmin: You all still need to hear  
  
Andre and Firmin: His disregard is ruining our theatre!  
  
. . . . . .  
  
Christine: A word before you make your choice  
  
The Phantom inspired my voice!  
  
. . . . . .  
  
Carlotta: How do you solve a problem like a Phantom?  
  
Piangi: How do you catch a ghost and pin it down?  
  
Raoul: How do you find a word that means 'the Phantom'?  
  
Christine: An angel of song!  
  
Andre: A menace of sorts!  
  
Firmin: A sound!  
  
. . . . . .  
  
Carlotta: Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him  
  
Piangi: Many a thing he ought to understand  
  
Andre: But how do you bring him here?  
  
Firmin: And leave behind all you fear?  
  
Andre and Firmin: How do you listen and follow his every demand?  
  
. . . . . .  
  
Oh, how do you solve a problem like the Phantom?  
  
How do you hold a shadow in your hand?  
  
. . . . . .  
  
Christine: When I'm with him I'm afraid  
  
All alone and feel betrayed  
  
And I never know exactly who I am  
  
Raoul: He's as brutal as a viper  
  
Piangi: He's as violent as a tiger!  
  
Firmin: He's a madman!  
  
Carlotta: He's a nuisance!  
  
Christine: He's alone!  
  
. . . . . .  
  
M. Giry: He could frighten any fright  
  
Christine: Hiding in the dark of night  
  
Raoul: He could throw a spinning lasso out of spin  
  
Buquet: He is fearful!  
  
Piangi: He's insane!  
  
M. Giry: He's a riddle!  
  
Carlotta: He's a game!  
  
Firmin: He's a headache!  
  
Raoul: He's a killer!  
  
Christine: He's a man!  
  
. . . . . .  
  
Carlotta: How do you solve a problem like a Phantom?  
  
Piangi: How do you catch a ghost and pin it down?  
  
Raoul: How do you find a word that means 'the Phantom'?  
  
Christine: An angel of song!  
  
Andre: A menace of sorts!  
  
Firmin: A sound!  
  
. . . . . .  
  
Carlotta: Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him  
  
Piangi: Many a thing he ought to understand  
  
Andre: But how do you bring him here?  
  
Firmin: And leave behind all you fear?  
  
Andre and Firmin: How do you listen and follow his every demand?  
  
. . . . . . .  
  
How do you hold a shadow in your hand?


	4. Tale As Old As Time

Back for more Phantomized Classics! Last time I tried to post, was screwed up, so yeah, a little later than usual. Head's up, this one isn't really humor. I know, it doesn't fit the genre too well, but it was too good of an oppertunity to miss. R/R!

. . . . . .

Tale As Old As Time (From: _Beauty and the Beast_)

Idea from: Catherine Morland, and a fellow Gaian Phantom Phan

. . . . . .

Tale as old as time

Through all that we have seen

They don't even know

Then love begins to show

Unexpectedly

. . . . . .

He begins to change her mind

She leaves her fear behind

Both feeling alone

Affection now is shown

Erik and Christine

. . . . . .

Ever without love

Ever counted out

Ever as before

Ever just as sure

As their song will rise

. . . . . .

Tale as old as time

Forgotten all the same

She's come into the light

Abandoned all the fright

She had when she first came

. . . . . .

Certain as their song

Ringing through the night

Tale as old as time

Through all that we have seen

Erik and Christine

. . . . . .

Both feeling alone

Affection now is shown

Erik and Christine


	5. Opera Nights

Welcome to Chapter 5 of Phantomized Classics! Back to our regularly scheduled humor, with a favorite from Grease. Join Raoul and Christine as they sing 'Opera Nights'!

-----

Song: Opera Nights (Original Musical: _Grease_)

Idea From: Me

Sung by: Raoul, some of the other guys at the Opera (Philippe, Erik, etc.), Christine, and the Ballet Girls

-----

Raoul: Opera lovin', had me a blast

Christine: Opera lovin', happened so fast

Raoul: A soprano, crazy for me

Christine: An opera patron, cute as can be

Both: Opera days drifting away

To, uh oh, those opera nights

-----

The Guys: Well-a, well-a, well-a, uh!

Ballet Girls: Tell me more, tell me more

Meg: You didn't even get ditched?

Ballet Girls: Tell me more, tell me more

Sorelli: Like is he filthy rich?

-----

Raoul: She lost her scarf, down at the river

Christine: Water so cold, it made you shiver

Raoul: Saved the scarf, waded down to my knees

Christine: He was sweet, I was so pleased

Both: Music's done, something's begun

But, uh oh, those opera nights!

-----

Guys: Well-a, well-a, well-a, uh!

Ballet Girls: Tell me more, tell me more

Philippe: Did you get her a bouquet?

Ballet Rats: Tell me more, tell me more

Erik: Did it last more than a day?

-----

Raoul: We were dancing, she sang me a song

Christine: Content laughing, walking along

Raoul: Riding together in the street cars

Christine: We fell in love, under the stars

Both: Opera days, fading away

But, uh oh, those opera nights

-----

Ballet Girls: Tell me more, tell me more

Meg: Do you think you'll be missed?

Ballet Girls: Tell me more, tell me more

Jammes: Did you really get kissed?

-----

Ballet Girls: Tell me more, tell me more

Meg: Does he love any other?

Ballet Girls: Tell me more, tell me more

Sorelli: Like does he have a brother?

-----

Christine: The chandelier fell; that's where it ends

Raoul: Thanks to the phantom, we can't even be friends

Both: The curtain falls, once and for all

But, oh, those opera nights


	6. Phantom of the House

Sorry this one's a 'little' late. I've had all of ten minutes in front of a computer in the last three months. Anyway, everyone (including myself) wants a Les Mis song, so here we go! I must thank Alunaer for her assistance with this chapter; it's the longest and most difficult yet. So . . . welcome the sixth chapter of Phantomized Classics with no further ado!

Song: Phantom of the House (Original Musical: Les Miserables)

Sung By: Erik, the Opera Audience, and the Phangirls

Les Miserables Suggested By: magicsgerl, magicalfairy12, Fishy, Bubonic Woodchuck, LuckyEponine04, Aslin of the Shadows

* * *

Erik:

Welcome, M'sieur

Please take your seat

And see for yourself

What you've heard on the street

As you can see

Our show's the best

And as for the view

Please put us to the test

Seldom do you see

An opera ghost like me

A gent who's so intent

As you soon will see . . .

* * *

Erik and Audience:

Phantom of the house

Doling out the harm

Ready with a lasso

And delightful charm

Drops a chandelier

Stirring up the crowd

Makes his presence known

But rarely speaks out loud

Tutors a new Prima Donna

Keeps the ballet girls in check

But if you irritate him

You'll be hanging from the ceiling by your neck!

* * *

Phantom of the House

Lives in cellar five

The few that ever see me

Never stay alive

Keeps them in control

Keeps them all in line

Making sure the managers

Will pay their fine

Everybody loves the phantom

Everybody's lifelong friend

* * *

Erik:

I do whatever keeps them guessing

Till I beat 'em in the end!

* * *

Erik & Audience

Phantom of the house

Watching every night

Haunts the corridors

Away from human sight

Christine's only hope

Raoul's only fear

The Vicomté's there

But he's the only voice she hears

Ballet girls' only gossip target

The greatest story that they've got

* * *

Erik:

But forever on your guard

Or your neck will be inside this lasso's knot!

* * *

The Phangirls

We used to dream

That we'd meet a Vicomté

But thank heavens

We've found better we can glomp!

Phantom of the house

Takes our breath away

Architect, ventriloquist

What more can we say?

Smart though he may be,

Sadly there's one quirk:

We must admit

His taste in girls could use some work!

What a sad thing it had to happen

Miss Daae had to come along

We all know that in his arms

I'M the only one who could belong!

* * *

Erik & Audience

Phantom of the house!

Phangirls

Mine and mine alone!

Erik & Audience

Christine's only hope

Phangirls

Oh, don't make us groan!

Erik & Audience

Raoul's only fear

Phangirls

When Christine goes off and leaves him, we'll still be right here!

Audience

Everybody bless the phantom!

Everybody bless Christine!

Erik

Everybody raise a glass

Phangirls

To the 'prima donna' that we _all_ surpass!

All

Everybody raise a glass to the phantom of the house!


	7. The Opera Ghost

Thanks for your patience in waiting for the newest addition to Phantomized Classics! It's been a while, I know, but you can expect still more after this. R/R, thanks again!

* * *

Title: The Opera Ghost

Original Title: Macavity

Original Musical: CATS

* * *

The hidden one's the Opera Ghost, and Erik is his name  
He lives beneath the opera and mystery's his game  
He's the bafflement of the managers, the ballet girls' despair  
For when they reach the scene of crime the Phantom is not there! 

The Opera Ghost, the Opera Ghost, there's no one like the Opera Ghost  
He can deceive most anyone, but isn't one to boast  
His talent with a lasso would make any hangman stare  
And when you reach the scene of crime the Opera Ghost 's not there!

You may seek him in the cellars; look to box five despair  
But I tell you once and once again the Opera Ghost 's not there!

The Phantom's like a shadow; he's almost never seen  
He lives within the darkness, and his eyesight's sharp and keen  
Despite anything you might have heard, his look is very fine  
His suit's always the very best, his shoes in perfect shine  
The mask for which he's widely known, he's never seen without  
And where Christine is, he is; this we know without a doubt

The Opera Ghost, the Opera Ghost, there's no one like the Opera Ghost  
Everything that goes on he sees, he never leaves his post  
You may hear him through a mirror, but even this is rare  
When a crime's discovered then the Opera Ghost's not there

To many at the opera, he's naught more than a sound  
Any signs of his activity are never ever found  
And when Carlotta is croaking and Buquet's found dead  
Or Christine's gone missing and a new note is read  
When the chandelier has fallen and the curtain has a tear  
There's the wonder of the thing, the Opera Ghost's not there!

And they say that all the ones with intentions still unclear  
I might mention Madame Giry, I might mention Nadir  
Are nothing more than agents for the ghost that always seems  
To be but just a step ahead in performance of his schemes

The Opera Ghost, the Opera Ghost, there's no one like the Opera Ghost  
Everything that goes on he sees; he never leaves his post  
You may hear him through a mirror, but even this is rare  
When a crime's discovered then the Opera Ghost's not there

The Opera Ghost, the Opera Ghost, the Opera Ghost  
When a crime's discovered then the Opera Ghost's not there!


	8. Do You Hear Carlotta Sing?

Phantomized Classics, Chapter Eight! After _Phantom of the House_ I heard nothing but wishes for a Les Mis encore, so here you have it! Stats and thanks are in order: 

Song: Do You Hear Carlotta Sing? (Originally _Do You Hear The People Sing?_ from Les Miserables)

Idea From: Baffled Seraph

Sung By: Erik, The Managers, The Audience

* * *

Erik

* * *

Do you hear Carlotta sing?

Threatening to blow out all our ears!

It is the only sound around here

That the phantom even fears!

When the curtain opens wide

And the strings begin to play

There is nowhere else to run

When she sings today!

* * *

Andre

Oh, come on, she's not that bad

Her voice is what they want to hear

And you know you must admit

It wasn't worth that chandelier

* * *

Firmin

And opening night all the money will make our point clear!

* * *

All

Do you hear Carlotta sing?

We've come to assume her voice is good

After all of the hype thatthere's been

It only seems as though we should

Christine Daae may sing well

But as we seem to dislike change

We claim that she'll never come quite close

To Carlotta's range!

* * *

Andre

You've heard our diva sing

Sometimes it's shrill, we must admit

But after all these seven seasons

We wonder if she'll ever quit!

She'll never forgive us if Christine's career we permit!

* * *

All

Do you hear Carlotta sing?

Threatening to blow out all our ears!

It is the only sound around here

That the phantom even fears!

When the curtain opens wide

And the strings begin to play

There is nowhere else to run

When she sings today!


	9. Don't Look At Me, Christine Daae

Another Phantomization! Wow, can you believe that some of you have been reading these for over a year! Me either. Love you all! Your anniversary gift is digital Sprees (And another ALW)! R/R!

* * *

Song: Don't Look At Me, Christine Daae

Original Musical: Evita (Don't Cry For Me, Argentina)

Idea From: The Goose-Girl, Vaude, annecordelia

* * *

MEG:

My dear friend Christine, I know it's hard  
How they try to insist you're insane  
But your angel is real, and I know that it's true  
You just believe me

Though it's a bit weird, I still have to confess  
The talking inside of your head  
And the mirror whose teaching has brought you success

Don't listen to Carlotta, just let it go  
She's only jealous that you took her role  
You were better than her, and she knows it as well  
She's just, well, you know  
A star diva's temper is never at rest, a tantrum is always at hand  
And she still likes to think she's the best

Don't look at me, Christine Daae  
I promise, I still believed you  
They say you've lost it, from your insistence  
You know I trust you,  
But keep your distance…

And as for Raoul, and what he thinks  
You're so cute, together, it's true  
But I somehow don't think that the Phantom's too pleased  
So just be careful  
I know that the Vicomté's your childhood friend  
But right now, he just thinks you need help  
I hope that he'll see in the end

Don't look at me, Christine Daae  
I promise, I still believed you  
They say you've lost it, from your insistence  
You know I trust you,

But keep your distance…


	10. Opera

Hey! I'm back. I bet you all had given up. I almost had. But not quite! The newest installment is a very memorable song from WICKED, the blockbuster Broadway musical with which I'm certain many of you are quite familiar. Here's Erik, teaching Christine how to be popular – erg, rather, sing opera!

* * *

Opera (Originally 'Popular' from _Wicked_)

Sung by: Erik (Just imagine him dancing around the cellar singing this bouncy tune – or rather, spare yourself)

* * *

Erik:

Whenever I see someone as talented as I . . .

Now let's face it, is anyone, as talented as I?

My hardened mind, tends to start to scheme . . .

And when someone needs to learn to sing, I simply have share some things –

I know, _I know_, exactly what they need . . .

And even in your case –

Though I have other motives than to teach –

Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed!

Listen to me!

And yes, indeed.

You . . . will . . . sing . . .

* * *

Opera!

You're gonna sing opera!

I'll teach you the proper key, to sing 'Think of Me' –

Little ways to slur and trill – Oooh!

I'll show you what songs to sing

When auditioning,

Everything you need to know to sing –

Opera!

* * *

I'll help you be sing opera –

You'll have your own hairdresser,

You'll be no lesser,

Than Carlotta seems to be,

So let's start, because I think that soon you'll see.

* * *

Don't be take offense my demanding attitude –

Eventually you'll learn to have the proper gratitude.

Now that I've chosen to become an angel, teacher, and a mentor –

On stage, you'll be in center,

* * *

That's when it comes to opera,

I know about opera.

And with an assist from me,

You'll learn to be free,

Instead of nervous like you are.

Voila!

There's nothing that can stop you,

From singing your ope_ruh_.

…_ra_.

* * *

Bravi, brava, you're gonna sing your opera.

When I see old prima donnas,

With such unconvincing dramas

I remind them on their own behalf

To think of –

Endless cues of rich townfolk and especially wealthy opera patrons,

Do they need shouts or screeching?

Don't make me laugh!

* * *

They need _opera_! Please! It's _all about_ opera!

It's not all intensity; you need quality,

So it's very smart to sing

Just the way you learn from _me_.

* * *

And though you protest,

All your fearfulness…

I know clandestinely,

You're gonna grin and bear it!

Your newfound opera-bility!

Bravi, brava, you'll sing opera . . .

Just not for anyone but . . .

ME!


	11. I Feel Pretty

Back for more Phantomized Classics, I see? Wise of you. You shan't regret it. I am, however, finally obligated to tell you that this shall indeed be our finale. The madness has been going on for almost two years now (I can't believe it either!). But weep not for these strange little parodies, for they will return soon . . . metamorphosed . . . better! And now, for our amazing, wonderful, finale.

* * *

Song: I Feel Pretty (Original Musical: _West Side Story_)

Idea From: Only Erik's, Me, TheGoddessofDeath, phantomgirl110, Glitter Queen of The Ice Show (I think that's all of ya! Sorry if I left anybody out. : )

Sung by: Everybody – hence the term finale: )

OH! AND THIS ONE HAS A STORYLINE! CHECK IT OUT!

* * *

_While going through his box of old opera programs, Raoul finds something rather odd. You and I would call it a digital camcorder, but living in 1831 Raoul de Chagny wouldn't know a camcorder from a hole in the wall. Well, maybe that doesn't have much to do with the fact that it's 1831. Somehow, without a manual (not that any self-respecting male would use a manual for anything but a place to spit gum anyway) Raoul manages to get the camera recording. In his state of fascination at the sight of his own flawless little imagine on the playback screen, a strange impulse to burst into song somehow gets the better of him…_

RAOUL:

I feel pretty,  
Oh, _so_ pretty,  
I feel pretty and witty and gay,  
And I pity  
The _phantom_ who isn't me today!

I feel dashing,  
Oh, so dashing -  
Just so dashing, and smashing, and free,  
And so pretty  
I feel privileged for being me!

Do you hear that voice in the mirror there?  
Who can your 'angelic' voice be?  
Such a pretty voice,  
Such pretty song,  
Such a pretty _face_?

No, leave that to me!

I feel lovely  
And attractive  
Feel so bubbly and and active and well  
And so pretty  
That to your phantom you can say farewell!

_Very pleased with himself over his little routine, Raoul slipped the digital recorder into his fob pocket along with his comb and compact mirror. Whistling a familiarly jaunty tune, he hailed a cabriolet and left for the Paris Opera. However, as Raoul arrived, he got a little overly excited and left his jacket backstage after wishing Christine good luck. Who was to find it? We'll see.

* * *

_

"_Well, what is it?" Meg asked._

"_I don't know," Jammes replied. "But it looks quite boring. I'm quite frankly disappointed."_

"_Well then, give it here," Meg demanded, reaching for it. Suddenly, however, as Meg jerked away, a button was hit. The most unbearable, unearthly sound filled the dressing room, and both girls lunged at the little silver device._

"_For heaven's sake, Meg, shut it up!" Jammes exclaimed over the din._

"_I'm trying! The only button I can find is red and says 'RECORD'."_

"_Well, if that's the best you can do!"_

"_WHAT!"_

"_OH, NEVER MIND!"_

_Suddenly, the sound ended. Both sighed with relief, but suddenly, Meg spotted her hand in the viewfinder. The two looked at each other._

_There was only one thing to do._

MEG:

I feel pretty.  
Oh, so pretty!  
That all Paris should come to see ME!  
Who's Carlotta?  
At least dancing is always in key!

JAMMES:

I'm excited,  
So excited,  
That excitement is all that I know!  
So excited,  
I just have to tell someone or I'll explode!

MEG:

See that pretty girl in the mirror there?

JAMMES:

Who can that attractive girl be?

MEG:

Such a pretty face

JAMMES:

Such a pretty dress

MEG:

Such a pretty smile

BOTH:

THAT IT MUST BE _ME_!

_During the minor scuffle regarding the final line of their song, Meg and Jammes also manage to lose the device. Not that they found it on purpose to begin with, they often make a habit of digging through Raoul's pockets. Where else did you think that all of their expensive cosmetics came from? Anyway. As the pair was rolling on the floor, scrambling for the recorder (that each thought that the other possessed) a slight, masked figure slipped in from the corridor outside. Silently talking the device off of the dresser and slipping it into his cloak, he departed almost as demurely as he had entered.

* * *

_

_As he descended the stairs, Erik curiously examined the little black and silver device in his gloved palm. It would occasionally whir and make noise, much to his surprised amusement. He continued to poke at it, pressing random buttons and waiting for the results. Suddenly, however, he saw the reflection of the white mask in the viewfinder and stopped short. An emotion that mere words could not describe came over him.  
_

ERIK:

I feel pretty  
Oh so pretty  
That I think I need to change the key!  
I'm so pretty  
I could sing an octave up, in D!

I'm entrancing

So entrancing

This is something all Paris should hear!

So entrancing

That I need to find a chandelier!

_In his mysteriously induced and almost child-like euphoria, Erik began to race double-time down the stairs. Finally, about seven flights down, he found himself at the mouth of the hallway that led to Christine's mirror. As he slipped through, however, his cloak caught on a lever. Though he managed to escape unscathed, he somehow missed the small, rectangular recorder falling out of his pocket . . .

* * *

_

_Christine barely wasted time examining the strange little box on her dressing room floor. She had a performance to prepare for. She did, however, pick it up and look it over. Shrugging in resignation and lack of interest, she placed it back on the dresser. However, unbeknownst to even herself, she had pressed a button. As she finished her hair and hummed, she had no idea that every move she made was being recorded. Slowly, her humming formed words._

CHRISTINE:

How do you solve a problem like the Phantom...

_**CUT!**_

_A tall man in a director's uniform steps into the dressing room and shoves a script into Christine's hands. She looks it over briefly, nods, and he walks away._

CHRISTINE:

I feel pretty

Oh so pretty

That the lyrics don't matter to me

Oh so pretty

I can sing most anything I please

_Putting her script down and fluffing her hair one last time, Christine turned and left the dressing room. Assuming the odd little box (which had finally run out of memory) belonged to someone else at the opera, she decided to leave it nicely in the closest thing that they had to a lost and found: the managers' office.

* * *

_

"_Zees vil be my last season, if you do not find a vay to keep things in order around 'zis opera!" Carlotta shook her finger in Andre and Firmin's direction, before turning and storming out of the office, Ubaldo in tow. This was becoming almost a weekly ritual now, and after it was over, both managers turned and shrugged before resuming their work. However, Firmin stopped short at an odd little thing sitting on his desk._

"_What do you think this might be?" he inquired, turning it over in his hand._

"_A paperweight?" Andre suggested. "Maybe the Opera Ghost was feeling generous for once."_

_The two laughed sarcastically, but nevertheless, Firmin took the little block and set it down rather firmly on a stack of papers. As he did so, however, the rather prominently placed 'PLAY' button that had affected similarly two young ballerinas only hours earlier was once again jammed into the 'on' position. The two managers watched in awed horror as the whole, frightening film played out before them._

_Finally, it came to a finish. Silence overtook the office for a moment._

_Suddenly, both managers beamed at each other in perfect unison and leapt atop their desks, glasses of champagne and all._

ANDRE AND FIRMIN:

I feel pretty,

Oh so pretty,

I feel pretty, and witty, and . . . . . . . . . . . _bright_!

And I pity

_Everyone_ who sang these songs tonight!

FIN

Thank you all for all of your support and appreciation for this phic every step of the way! You all are amazing!

I'll invite the entire cast and all my reviewers up for a curtain call, you all deserve it.

(Applause is heard)

I'm still not owning any featured musicals (including Phantom!) but I do own about half of the ideas (maybe a little less) and a clay sign saying that it truly is all Voltaire's fault. And I don't own Terminator. You'll soon see why.

Much love, peace out, and rock on to all! See you at the Tony's!

-Shekiah : )

_I'll be back!_


End file.
